Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
