If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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