dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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