All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
