I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
