i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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