i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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