Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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