I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
