I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
