You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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