Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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