There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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