I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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