dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
