why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
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she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
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Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect