did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Drake has all the answers
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly