I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
