hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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