using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
