dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
