I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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