absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
