I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
