Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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