we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
