there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize