Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
