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tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I am available for nakedness
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
