I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
