you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I have post one night stand depression
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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