Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
