that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
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Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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