i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
