you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
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Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
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It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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