Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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