The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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