She just used a chaser for red wine.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
