upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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