Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
