at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
