i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I think my moral compass just broke
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