It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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