It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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