I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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