dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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