yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
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That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
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you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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