A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
