I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
