My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.