Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I am going to give you the keys to my place

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  Then I'll give you the keys to my heart

  (561): View more from Florida

  Gag me

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  (561): I am going to give you the keys to my place (1-561): Then I'll give you the keys to my heart (561): Gag me http://tfl.nu/oa16
  Replies (5) Good night (1375) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That baby is bound to be under-loved.

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  (262): The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy. (651): That baby is bound to be under-loved. http://tfl.nu/j5h4
  Replies (10) Good night (1119) Bad night (3950)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.

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  (404): I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner. http://tfl.nu/q9zc
  Replies (2) Good night (2731) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.

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  (224): My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it. http://tfl.nu/fqyk
  Replies (18) Good night (918) Bad night (2747)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....

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  (845): I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex.... http://tfl.nu/n100
  Replies (15) Good night (3105) Bad night (1624)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.

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  (705): Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it. http://tfl.nu/bw0n
  Replies (11) Good night (4478) Bad night (1200)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.

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  (860): It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life. http://tfl.nu/wu6z
  Replies (7) Good night (2948) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.

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  (808): He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that. http://tfl.nu/smq4
  Replies (6) Good night (2168) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.

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  (312): He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now. http://tfl.nu/rrnv
  Replies (3) Good night (1825) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?

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  (805): You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina? http://tfl.nu/lipw
  Replies (9) Good night (2779) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n

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  (978): I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n http://tfl.nu/vl91
  Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.

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  (409): Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY. http://tfl.nu/n49p
  Replies (11) Good night (368) Bad night (1470)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives

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  (508): Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives http://tfl.nu/526e
  Replies (5) Good night (306) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French

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  (703): All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French http://tfl.nu/pm1m
  Replies (4) Good night (647) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...

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  (+61): I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use... http://tfl.nu/rs5j
  Replies (1) Good night (256) Bad night (929)

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