pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
