just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
