I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
