Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
