There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
