well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Who put my cat in the fridge?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
