Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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