i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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