my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize