I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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